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From Secret Loneliness to Public Power
It's said that being alone does not have to be lonely. In fact, being alone and building your life is one of the greatest masculinizing experiences a man can have.
It's FREEZING cold here. Chicago was hit by what they are calling the STORM OF THE CENTURY, and even in a city of this size, there is literally not a soul out and about. No socializing is going on in the typical venues, no dates are going on out on the town. I would even venture a guess that for those not already locked into a couples situation, there is likely not even an in-home date of more than one per city block if that.
Which is I suppose why Chicago is legendary for an annual ritual where if one is not "nested up" for the long winters with a honey, he or she are just plain out of luck until springtime.
I happen to not be alone.
Dating skills are a wonderful thing, but what is a guy to do when with all the skill in the world, there simply happen to be no women around to even make eyes at, and in one of the most populous cities of the world no less.
It's time we talked about some realities.
All the positive thinking in the world will let you down if you cripple yourself with statistics that work AGAINST you. If you live in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and associate with the WRONG people, you will lose, no matter who you are or how "skilled" you are with women, how positive, or rich, or handsome, or built, or smart you are.
We guys often don't like talking about feelings, admitting weakness, or certainly, asking for help.
Truth is, many, many aspects of life can be lonely for us, and there is a fair chance that due to pride, or fear, or past hurt, or just plain temporary bad luck of having no mentor to ask, or shoulder to lean on, we might not tell a soul how very lonely we are.
We only lacked TWO OF THE THREE ABOVE. What if we had the right people at the wrong time, or lived in the right place, with the wrong people, or it was the right time of life for us to finally get the balls to pursue our dreams, but we were neither in the right place, nor surrounded by the right people?
That ONE, lone factor... is more than enough of an anchor to clutch onto, and have HOPE in.
It's all you need guys.
For Men, Loneliness Can Be Power
To make use of this concept you will need to be equipped with some very specific skills of masculinity. The winter is long, and Valentine's Day, a women's holiday which celebrates women's romantic achievements in reaching committed relationships is fast approaching.
Maybe you are prone to absorb the comments of others and let them seep into your sense of identity.
Your mother might call you and ask if you have a girlfriend yet? She'll remind you that Valentine's Day, a women's holiday, is fast approaching, and she hopes you "find someone."
Your sister might call, and she gets you more than some other family do, even your mother. She doesn't even ask you if you have a date, because she gets that it can be hard with Valentine's Day approaching. She knows that it isn't even a matter of your skill or worth - it's likely that all the girls are ALREADY PAIRED UP. At least in her view, the ones who are "normal." It's not about you, and she's not down on you - so she calls to see if you want to come visit her and her boyfriend for the holiday. (Even she doesn't realize that Valentine's Day is a WOMAN'S holiday, not a man's...)
Finally, your brother and your best friend both call almost at the same time. They don't even mention the holiday because they are men, and instinctually already know it is a woman's holiday. They don't even have it in mind, but simply decided it would be good to go do something like skiing or watching the game. They don't even think to meet women with you. It's just good timing...
...and so that's what you'll choose.
But somewhere inside there's a lonely feeling that you just want to shake off.
It might be a chance to face that vague feeling HEAD-ON, and spend the upcoming weekend entirely ALONE with your demons.
I'll tell you why in a minute.
For starters, when it's just too easy to let others shake you up, wonder about your worth because of some holiday not even meant to honor you, there's some BOUNDARY work for you to do. When you have one of the three in your favor - the right TIME, the right PLACE, or the right PEOPLE on your side, it BEGS you to make a decision to choose YOURSELF, first and foremost, for ONCE.
And that's the prime goal of the MindOS Mastery Course on personal growth for men - mastery of personal boundaries and the self-awareness to JUMP on a chance to make a decision - to seize an opportunity.
Use Aloneness to Make a Change in Yourself
You could take those right PEOPLE, and change your apartment - MOVE to a different part of town and a whole new life, or take the right TIME and move to a whole new city. Or you could take the RIGHT place you are right now, and spend your time with all new people, perhaps including the most important person in the world to a man.
That person must be YOU.
It is also a boundary skill to make use of a second concept I promised you.
Some of you have heard me lecture about the Count of Monte Cristo, the novel by Alexander Dumas. In it, the main character who finally learns to be a real man says that in all his troubles and adventures, he learns only TWO THINGS:
1. The value of Hope
2. and the value of WAITING.
Sometimes you have to WAIT for the stars to align in your favor, and that is one of the toughest things of all for a man to accomplish - for we feel more masculine through ACTION.
For years I couldn't figure out why this most manly of male characters would discover only Hope and Waiting as his major lessons of life...
...until I realized they are only a half-written sentence, a half a handshake, a half-lesson from an accomplished mentor on life.
The other half is that both Hoping and Waiting beg, beg, beg the SEIZING OF OPPORTUNITY WHEN IT ARRIVES.
THAT is the worst self-betrayal of a man.
To miss opportunity.
I have to tell you it has been eons since I've done a Chicago men's training at attraction, dating, and relationships of the all new format we use.
Submit an application to be trained and we'll do it.
I've learned that smaller class size is better, more rich, more effective, and more powerful - and so signups are VERY limited.
And this is a chance for you to SEIZE upon, HERE, at the Men's Psychology Expeditions.
What you are going to find is a MAJOR lesson about life, and statistics, and WHAT TO DO WHILE YOU HOPE, AND WAIT for better opportunities:
Just like the Count of Monte Cristo, you USE that time to TRAIN for the future, for the moment that you MUST ACT - that woman you never knew could exist, that city you never knew could offer so much that seems tailored to you and only you, and the times you will no doubt enjoy that you thought life would never get around to granting you.
YOU MUST BE READY FOR THEM, and that is why, beginner or advanced, lonely or surrounded by friends, rich, poor, short or tall, we - as men - must use every opportunity to train for our futures.
And perhaps one most overlooked skill and value of loneliness in the dead of winter is this, masculine secret: that it is only in SOLITUDE that we really know ourselves as men, overcome the demons of past failures and injury. Which is more than just licking our wounds. It's where we create, innovate, rediscover ourselves while we wait.
And the hope doesn't come from on high. It comes from the fire inside.
These skills and more are the stuff of the Mature Masculine Power Program.
If you have no date for the big women's holiday this year (or are with one with whom you don't feel all is right) - and are game for a life transformation - I would suggest three things:
1. Spend VD ALONE and in thought about your future.
2. Sign up for a Men's Psychology Expedition with a 25% deposit - which could also be applied to the Mature Masculine Power Program or MindOS Mastery Program instead, on request, when attending the Expedition.
3. Then WAIT for the results. Call me in one year from today and tell me the details of how it was worth 10, 100, 1000 or more TIMES your investment, or was even dare I say, PRICELESS.
I'll celebrate with you.
But it will have begun not with loneliness, but ALONENESS that rediscovers who you really are.