Going Out on the Town? Remember the Magic Four Steps

A lot has been written in recent years about how to approach women. It seems at some point between 1985 and 1999, men in America and elsewhere completely forgot how to go out on the town with friends, have fun, and meet a few girls along the way. In the last several years, the rules seem to have changed.

Or have they?  Well, not really, if you remember just four simple things when you go out. They're easy to remember and the kinds of things that a wise older brother (or astute parent) might have told you:

1) Be positive - Good energy and goodwill toward others

Nobody wants to be around somebody who is mopey, sullen or just plain vanilla. We're talking about energy here, or emotion. In order to "get" something (in this case get people to talk to you, enjoy talking to you, and get women to be interested in talking to you), you have to "give" something. You have to give out positive energy. Are you having a bad day? Bad week? (Or a bad year?) Well, you've got to set aside your troubles for a night. Or else, what's the point of going out? Take a "mental vacation" from whatever is vexing you. Leave it behind. It will be there in the morning.

2)  Take action
Get up. Go out. Call the friends. Go to the party. Make decisions. Go to places where there are a lot of women. Do something, talk to her.

Don't think too much before acting. Tomorrow is the best time to analyze things. Tomorrow you can obsess and turn over about what you could or should have said, could have done. Tonight, just act. Do anything and everything that is positive and social. Stay away from anything negative and dangerous.

Above all, talk to her. Now.

3) Vary topics of conversation, greatly

In conversation, most of us are far too literal, linear and logical. We talk about mundane things. We ask boring questions: What do you do? Where do you live? Where are you from? What route do you drive home from work during rush hour?

Instead, leave the mundane topics at home. In a first encounter with the opposite sex, vary the topics of conversation and slide easily from one to another without worry.

Hey, is that a venus flytrap in the corner? (Ask that question no matter what kind of plant is in the corner.)

4) Touch

Touch her. No relationship will happen without touch. Let's say the conversation is going very well - you two are getting along well - she'll think something is wrong if you don't touch her. We're talking about socially appropriate touch. Courteous touch, diplomatic touch. Still, whether its a handshake, a hug, a kiss on the cheek, fist bump, or a playful punch in the arm, men and women who like each other will find a way to touch, early and often.

Forget any other kind of playbook, and don't worry out outcomes. Just remember the magic four steps. Now go out and have a good time.

**The Gentleman's Toolbox eBook available from MensPsychology.com offers an array of tips and tactics for shaking things up during your nights out on the town.