Married Men Switching Roles With Single Men Is a Disaster

If there's anything that's true about recent films, it's that they are coming closer and closer to explaining the real instincts that are so different between men and women. Maybe it's only those by the director of Wedding Crashers and the writers of The Hangover. Either way, the just-released movie, The Change-up sends a single man and married man into the other's role, with disastrous, but truly enlightening consequences no matter which you are in your own life.

They're Both Depressed

It was first the comedian Chris Rock who so rightly said, "Single and lonely... Or married and bored."

Long before then, men in both roles in life have envied the other to greater or lesser degrees. The "grass is always greener on the other side," and if this weren't true for single men too, they wouldn't have clamored for trainings on the mechanics of how to attract women so vigorously for the last two decades. The predicament of married men today is pretty obvious if you check out nearly any media source on how they are doing in their physical health, psychological health, and financial health compared to years past.

Or you could just reconnect with a high school buddy you haven't talked to in years. Chances are, sadly, that he's been married and divorced by now, and worse off.

It's not as easy as saying that "the world is going to Hell," at least for men. Many people do find love, or satisfying dating lives today, but more often than not they have paid a heavy price to do so. One of the most frequent complaints I hear from even successful single men is that they are working harder than ever at their careers - often to the point of suffering for sleep, exercise, and a reasonable life's balance - leaving not much time, let alone money, to be out doing a responsible duty at an equally important "job" as a man - playing the field to get an ample experience of a variety of women before settling down. You'll certainly see that effect in the film, when Jason Bateman's character revels in the freedom of being able to date beautiful women while on leave from his high-power corporate attorney job. Still, you are an adult and have choices in how you spend your time, and that includes what jobs you choose and what the hours and pay are.

It's also not as easy as saying, "it's their own damned fault" when you hear about a single man having a "dry-spell" in his dating, or discovering that yes, there can be more to life than an endless series of one-night-stands. While Ryan Reynolds' character certainly discovers this in the raunchy but too-simple plot-line that unfolds in this film, it's not quite that neat and clean a set of lessons for the very real men in the worldwide audience. There are real skills to learn about dating women - we believe the latest from science carries the most reliable information, not just the word-of-mouth anecdotes of other men who have "good dates." Still, it's quietly commendable that SOMEONE has tried to provide men information on the dynamics of dating, given that mainstream education and the media have been essentially silent on the subject for decades. Where in the world would a guy learn to meet women? From the divorced father he hasn't heard from since he was a boy?

That was actually similar to the case of Ryan Gosling's portrayal of a pickup artist in another recent, equally hilarious and instructive film called, Crazy Stupid Love.

There's more to the single man, trying to learn about women though, and it is not really mentioned in either the mainstream, or the "men's dating movement," even in passing - yet both Gosling's and Reynolds' single man characters, so very successful with women exhibit it:

They aren't happy.

While married men have much to be depressed about - just try not to cringe at nearly every scene shared by Jason Bateman and his family - the single man does too, even when it is not a problem to get a date, get laid, or start anew in the process the next day.

It's that our brains as men are wired to both need from and provide to women, three things: sex, friendship and partnership - or sexual, emotional, and intellectual attraction.

The compelling drama of a single man switching lives with a married man (The Change-up) - or a pickup artist and a father-figure (Ryan Gosling's foil, Steve Carrell) learning from each other - provide a clear window to the world of a man's brain only partially fed in these three areas.

Whether it's a single man longing for more sex than his once-a-year success, ending up as "just-friends" with most women, or a married man wishing his grouchy wife were a better friend - whether he ever would have even been capable of "just friends" with her, and now wouldn't want to be anything to her, both men still manage to go to work, vaguely, mildly depressed.

The symptoms are mild on the surface, but devastating inside, and they eat away at the structure of your life like termites eating your bones. This mood has something to do with women to be sure, but may ripple into your job performance or vice versa. It may even eat away at the dreams you once had for both your romantic life and your career aspirations.

We call it, DEPRESCULINITY™, and that's why we have just released a program about the very subject. It begins not with a downer," but an explanation of exactly why this is happening to so many millions of men. And it ends on the highest note that you could imagine - one which addresses the second part of the problem of these male film characters, and many men you know.

Perhaps even you. And you can no longer afford to lack the answers which are just waiting for you in the Masculine Intelligence in Self-Esteem: Depresculinity Program.

The second problem of men in this "Single and Lonely or Married and Bored" predicament is:

They're Both Unmasculine

We aren't viewing masculinity as simply "the number of chicks I get per week." We mean something specific, and more VITAL than that. The kind of masculinity that's mature, accomplished, seasoned, successful not just for a night, or a week, and not just with women, but in career life, a social life, and a sex life in perfect balance. In fact, a kind of life where all three feed each other a sense of being thrilled to be alive.

At one point you may have heard me describe a phrase I use in the MindOS Mastery Program, called "durable fulfillment." This means not just a brief combination of success, happiness and freedom to be yourself - called a "Peak Moment" - but a LASTING ability to do so.

You may have had one incredible night with a beautiful woman from time to time, or a fantastic vacation with a girlfriend or wife at some point, but that is not enough to keep you out of both a mildly depressed state of mind or a sinking degree of masculinity - trudging along in a sub-par career, or a less than stellar life of relating to women.

Depresculinity STILL has you.

It will take a combination of masculine skills with women AND career life, but also the character maturity to keep them in place, and growing too, if you want this "durable fulfillment" - this continual "Peak State" instead of a mere, occasional "Peak Moment."

If you've ever heard of men's dating trainings that show men ebooks or discs about sexual attraction, or even live, social trainings, you might errantly think that those alone can make a man happy.

They don't. And even the men who are successful at getting sex in the way that Ryan Gosling's and Ryan Reynolds' characters do - also find that being completely happy as a man needs more than just "scores" in bed. They need what the Steve Carrell and Jason Bateman characters have in abundance, even while those married types need lessons from their freedom-loving, youthful, playful, well-groomed sidekicks in these films.

None of these characters are fully masculine, because the skills, and successes, and identities they have built are all, at-best, half-completed.

Which is why they need each other - it's both masculinity and character maturity that makes a complete man.

For those of you single men who KNOW you need to understand that magic - that vibe which makes a woman's eyes light up when you're around: YOU NEED TO ATTEND A LIVE TRAINING, and we have one coming up as a special situation - BOTH Berlin AND London on back to back weekends as a combined program on dating.

But you also need to know that our Expeditions are not just about Sexual Attraction. They are about ALL of human courtship - yes, all the advanced skills of being sexy in a woman's eyes, but ALSO how to screen for just the right type of women to date, what went WRONG with each and every one of your exes, and how to enjoy the kind fo soulmate feeling NOW, even on a FIRST date, that could, if you so choose, lead to something that could last as long as you wish. Hopefully for life.

AND, it integrates HOW YOUR CAREER IMPACTS and IS IMPACTED back by your dating and relationship choices.

These are COMPLETE programs, and fully based in science, not anecdotes or "kitchen table wisdom."

The clock is ticking on the Berlin and London Expeditions, because there is a TEN-STUDENT LOCKOUT.

There's one more thing you need to know about the envy of single and married men...

They Both Have "Unfinished Business"

Maybe you have known a friend, or been there yourself. You had a deep, gut feeling called, "Unfinished Business."

You dated a woman who was "so perfect" - beautiful, smart, nice. You walked down the marriage aisle with a woman who was "ideal on paper" - the right family, good upbringing, no drugs, healthy, a great mom you were sure, and she did love you.

Then...

You didn't have words for it, but you just knew something was wrong, and you got into the most severe inner conflict over it. You "SHOULD" love her, you "SHOULD" still want her in bed, and you DO have obligations to her, your family, maybe even children...

...but you knew there was something in life you just HAD to do and HAVEN'T done it. Like Jason Bateman's character, you saw all those beautiful women you never dated in your 20's because you married young. Like Steve Carrell's character, you forgot what it was like to not be pestered or nagged, and long for those days of freedom. Like Ryan Gosling's character, there were things never shared with your father - a man long gone - and that you wanted to do to be there for a son someday, but can't imagine ever having. It's just too dangerous to get married, and too difficult to risk loving. Like Ryan Reynolds' character, you never found more than a living, but a passion that far, far more than pays the bills, or a woman who would actually be a teammate and advisor, a mentor and a support at finding both your highest dream, and even better...

...one to share.

THAT'S UNFINISHED BUSINESS. And it is caused by lacking the balance of masculinity and character, the lessons, skills and experiences of both that are missing in so many men - men with DEPRESCULINITY™.

And what Masculine Intelligence in Self-Esteem (Depresculinity) will do for your inner psychology - your "inner game" - a Live Expedition will take into action in the real world - in your "outer game."

Maybe you feel that desperate loneliness of a Steve Carrell, sitting at the bar, and suffer the humiliation of a much younger man presuming to try to "teach you about life."

Which you know is preposterous. It is. He doesn't know what life is until he lives some of it. But he also knows "tricks" - those little charming moves and smiles and quick comments that seem to get the attention of women - even if they are superficial and short-lived. It's why you may have considered taking one of those "dating trainings" in the internet.  But it was also a silly idea and you knew it.

So you just slumped in your chair without a sense of options for all that "Unfinished Business" of life.

Well we've also just released Masculine Intelligence in Dating Over 35.

You have a right to finish that business too, and be a complete man like any younger man who claims to "have it all figured out."

In fact, you may notice that this is the very last day of our "summer sale."  There is literally a clock ticking on the page, and then it's over.

If there's anything a man owes another man, it's an honest word that you know will make him a better one. But only if he's curious about what that is.

So for those so curious enough to learn every sentence of this article, there's one last thing:

We'll give 100$ off on Depresculinity too, when you grab one of the two summer deals before they're gone.

Just use the coupon code at checkout, "summer100" - and you'll have the best information out there for men today - those who want COMPLETE lives, of no unfinished business.

And we'll see you next week...