Overcoming the Day Job

Q: My question is about choosing a right mission and about the moral issue of leaving a company just after having been hired. Last week I started a new job that is limited to one year. I am quite good at it, and the pay is very good. However, sitting in front of the computer screen all the day , this job has no potential to masculinize me or to help me learn to be in charge of others. I am thinking about quitting the job as this year might be a waste of time. Also, I live in a small town where the dating is not good. How do I deal with the moral issue of wanting to leave a company just after having started?

A: Your situation is all too common in the 21st century corporate world, where many men spend their lives in cubicles hunched over computers working for somebody else's goals, never their own. It is easy to simply toil away and never strike out to seek more fulfilling work elsewhere. But your situation is not as bad as you present it.

First, there is no moral issue here. Whether you stay at the job for the one year term or quit with no prior notice tomorrow morning, neither decision would be immoral or moral. The stakes are high, yes, but you need not worry about acting "immorally" if you decide to leave your job.

We recommend that you stick with the job. This job is only a one-year assignment. Because there is a firm end-point, we believe you can stay with it for a year and still happily move forward in your social life and career.

The key is to make definite plans to move on to a new city after your year is up. This will be a city that YOU want to live in, and to pursue the job that YOU want.

Start planning today exactly the move you will make. Start researching cities where you'd like to live. You have a year to prepare and save money. Which city has a high population of single women? Which city has the best opportunities to do the kind of work you really want to do?

You say that you are good at your job -- implying that you like the work you're doing even if the current situation is uninspiring -- and that you would like to "learn to be in charge of others." Start now working toward the next phase in your career, up to management. Get addition training during the coming year, outside of your job. Perhaps you'll take classes toward an MBA or pursue other management training in your off-hours.

Tell your family and friends about your plans and build a network of supporters. Finally, try a technique called "enjoy the future, today." By preparing your next moves, you are creating a better future. So enjoy this coming year. By making a plan and executing on it, you'll reach a new level of passion and vitality. We'll bet that the women in your current town will take notice, and your dating life will improve, too.

*This question appeared in the MensPsychology On-Demand Forum.