The Aphrodite Cockblock

If you didn't get her number last night, blame the ancient Greeks. Or better yet, look to ancient Greek myths and legends to explain to you exactly what happened, and how to understand exactly what's going on, next time.

Sometimes a flirtation or a budding romance stalls because of a "cockblock," also known "cockblocking" or "cockblockery." Most of us know about the cockblock, when some guy deliberately buts in on your conversation with a desirable single woman. Sometimes it's unintentional, but no less devastating, like when your wingman innocently says "hey, don't you have to pick up your sister at the airport later?" And he says it just when you're chatting up a lady and perhaps trying to arrange other plans for your sister to get picked up, so that you can hang out with this new girl. Suddenly, it looks to her like you are ditching your sister, which is not true. But that's how SHE perceives it, and the moment's attraction fades away.

We've all fallen victim to the "Steve Jobs Cockblock." That's when a woman places the ear buds of her iPod or iPhone in her ears to listen to music (or pretend to), just as you approach to start a conversation. Some women do this 24/7 to avoid being approached by men. Gents, take note: if a woman sees you and then removes her earphones, she wants you to talk to her.

But men are not the only ones who engage in cockblockery. Some of the most effective cockblocks are executed by women. Frequently, older women will consciously or unconsciously thwart the best efforts of men who are in mid-flirtation with younger women.

Recently while out with friends, I watched this type of cockblock occur right before my eyes. My buddy befriended two German women in their 20's, both blondes with blue eyes. They looked like they could be swimmers, or tennis players. Let's just say they were very fit young women. Earlier, we had befriended a group of ladies in their 40's, also friendly and attractive and of the "cougar" variety with leopard-printed clothing, spray tans. You know the type. 

Because we met the young German girls after we had been chatting with the group of women in their 40's, and because we had moved away from one group to chat with the Germans, the cougar-in-charge in the group of older women walked all the way across the room to place herself, somewhat rudely, between my friend and the two German ladies, who had been engaged in conversation. If a man had done the same thing, we would immediately see it as a brazen cockblock.

But because women were involved -- and because we are gentlemen who give women the benefit of the doubt -- we welcomed her and tolerated the interruption. Later, we saw her move for what it really was: The Aphrodite Cockblock!

The first step toward understanding The Aphrodite Cockblock is the ancient Greek legend of Psyche and Cupid. Why pay attention to Greek mythology? All ancient stories -- including the Bible -- can be viewed attempts by earlier men to understand and cope with human instincts and the unconscious. Early men were confused by the behavior of women, just like we are today, and so, they made up stories to explain human behavior.

Here's what you need to know: Cupid is the god of love and romance. His mother is Aphrodite, chief goddess, who gets angry when Cupid falls in love with young, beautiful Psyche, a mere mortal!

Aphrodite eventually reconciles with Psyche and permits her to marry Cupid, but not before Aphrodite makes Psyche perform all kinds of tasks and chores, like gathering a year's supply of grain and wool. Aphrodite is jealous of Psyche's beauty, and Aphrodite is a goddess. The story illustrates how older women, unconsciously, tend to feel jealousy toward younger women. At a crowded night club in the 21st century, older women might feel a need to break up the conversation for the men who pay too much attention to the beautiful young ingenues in the room. 

"Pay attention to US instead, because WE are the goddesses here!" the older women seem to be saying.

The thing is, the older women are right. They are the goddesses, not the younger women. They are learned and experienced and wiser in the ways of the world. After all, every young woman must learn from her elder peers  if they are one day to become goddesses themselves. A girl can't cruise through life relying only on her youthful beauty. Aphrodite's jealousy is well-founded and born of her desire to display her wisdom to the younger generation of women.

Yet, men are drawn to the youthful beauty of Psyche, which is perfectly natural. That's why jealous Aphrodite will always be around the corner. Think of the older women in your life -- your co-workers, sisters-in-law, aunts, cousins and friends. They might unconsciously - even unwittingly - sabotage your efforts to date young women. Be sure to always honor their status as goddesses. Be a gentleman, but don't let Aphrodite get in the way of what you need to do.

If you spot a women you like, perhaps a younger woman, you might have to use countermeasures against Aphrodite. You might have to shut down Aphrodite or disappoint her in order to get to know the beautiful Psyche. Learn how to say 'no' in a diplomatic way, so that you can accomplish your mission as a man in the world.

We have many more lessons from Greek mythology in the Mature Masculine Power program.