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Flakers and "I'll call you"
Flakers. Don’t you hate them?? What are they about exactly? Playing hard to get…or just not interested?
I can understand why men become confused by women who flake, especially once they know about the tests women apply, but I think it’s simpler than it seems, most of the time.
The male equivalent is very often the man who takes a woman out on a date and says at the end of it “I’ll call you”…and then never does. Or he just goes ‘poof’ after a few dates, never to be heard from again. No explanation, no ‘see you later’, no nothing. Zip Nada Zilch.
So in order to understand a bit more about women who flake, it might pay to think about why men say they’re going to call and then don’t. Or say they want another date, but don’t finalise the arrangements.
In other words, people tend to like an easy out from having to say outright to someone that they don’t want to go on a date with them – or see them again. So they opt for the brush off. Not particularly nice, but it happens.
While KWML type can be relevant in terms of flaking likelihood (eg Magicians are perhaps more prone to this), at the essence of the flaker is a woman who is not all that ‘sold’ on you, because even the most ‘hard-to-get’ woman is going to show up for the guy she’s really, REALLY hot for. She might play a bit coy and not be available for the initial date he’s suggested, but she’s unlikely to actually flake.
And of course then there’s the boundary thing. What woman with good boundaries would flake? Hmm….well, it could be argued that none would. In most cases that would be true. But women are human, too, and it’s easier to be positive but non committal about a proposed get together and then not answer the follow up call or text. Especially when she’s not that invested in a man or has just met him. She’s enjoying the attention, likes having options, but is not going to commit conclusively to a date until she’s considered all her options…or (in her mind)…something better comes up (and that’s not necessarily you, unfortunately).
If a woman is consistently being non committal and vague in response to your invitations or suggestions, then cut the tie.
Trust this much. When a woman is VERY hot for a man, she WILL, despite herself, make room for him and prioritize him. She might not be overt about that for a while, and she might purposely (or genuinely) be busy on the first suggestions you make, but she’ll make room. If she misses your call, she’ll get back to you. She may delay responding to texts and she may do other things that make you ‘wonder’. But she won’t outright flake and if she does, it won’t be a consistent or ongoing thing.
Test her and pass her tests, but don’t keep on keeping on if it continues. 9 times out of 10 it’s just not worth it.