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How very different men can come together and have a party.
Dear gentlemen at the Men's Psychology community,
I love bachelor parties. I have 2 older brothers. Both, who are not maturely a part of my life unfortunately; fortunately for me I have options. The feeling you can get from a Bachelor party is the same brotherhood one would feel if he had brothers. The same feeling as one would get from going through the Omega bootcamps that I had experienced once before. There is no better way to boost your observing ego than getting together as a team, pitching in, and focusing on one mission: getting your FREAK ON! It's not unlike a fraternity.
A few days before my bachelor party, I visited a bartender friend of mine. The visit was just like any other, he, like me is the youngest of the family, but older and a Magician/Warrior or at least I can never actually find out what temperament he is cause it is a mystery. He kicks my butt in every competition I get into, and anytime I feel like I'm sweating from it all, I look over and I can tell he hardly broke a sweat. I can't help but be a little jealous at how easy he does it but also amazed at his talent (Magician). We met a few years back while filming an episode for MTV's Silent Library. To make the story short, I ended up hanging out with him at a bar, and Daddy, as sometimes called, decided to take his pants off and bartend in his boxers. Crazy? Well, for outsiders, yea, I've known the guy for so long, we are not foreign to the idea of the magician. I cannot even possibly compete with him. He was both the King of bartenders for doing that and the life of the party at the same time. So, that is how I got prepared for going into the weekend by myself. Do you have any pre-party rituals?
The bachelor party itself was a 3 hour ride away from home. To feel like part of a team, we all pitched in for our part. A good bachelor party is only as good as the destination that someone picks. One guy drove, one guy decided to take his truck so we can fit all our belongings, one guy was meant to coordinate activities. Coordinate? I say that as a question, because as luck would have it, our bachelor party was filled with all married men, or men with kids, and then there was me, the only single man at the party (I spent most of the time wandering away at the opportunities). I was along for the ride. I was different. I had to be. I had to fill in the personalities in the bunch because if not, then the bachelor party would not have been a success. I knew only the bachelor, his brother, and one other guy before heading into this. They used to play soccer together, and what not, so I was the odd man out. To make this work as a team, I had to use some very good boundaries on my part to be able to use vague friendliness in the bachelor party around these guys, yet also have to chip in and maybe throw a funny story or two to roast the guy and lighten everyone else's moods (lotta Kings in the bunch).
I've learned a lot from this past weekend. Having gone through the ups and downs for the last few years in life, I got a respect from them that I did deserve, but the moral of the story is not to be person that you were not meant to be is the big lesson learned here. Fortunately, another man showed up a night later to put a spin on things. I was on the fence about being the lead to these guys and I was not his best man so I had no reason to and I knew my life has been so different in the last few years to be able to look around and confirm how I have grown was a blessing at the least.
What do you do though at these bachelor parties is the same thing that you would do if you all played on a team together in say soccer. You end up finding out that while the group had a lot of differences, competitively speaking, we all had to get our hands dirty. At least I feel as though I did.
I think the most memorable part of the weekend was the car ride that I shared. The journey was what made it fun. The pit stops made it interesting. We stopped at a Smokin D's barbecue pit and ate some of the best barbecue chicken I've ever had. The place was in a local remote farming community. I had never been at a roadside barbecue and one of the guys in the car said he lives for this food. The guy who ran the place was all about marketing the place by word-of-mouth. He says he never sees anybody but locals stop by there and was a little shocked that we were from outta town. He told us all about his mission, which was to make the best damn barbecue. I think. At least mine was damn good. I guess word-of-mouth places are hard to find, and are probably some good spots to find and know.
If I bring up the story about the bartender friend of mine earlier, I can make a point that is worth noting if you are still reading this. By the end of the weekend, I was the “Magician” in the group. I had nobody and everybody amazed (fooled at the least) at the same time. I am a King. I only portrayed the Magician-Warrior side of me to keep up with the party. When you are in a bachelor party after all, you cannot help but feel the Magician inside come out every now and then.
So anyway, to stay on topic, I think the Omega seminar was more structured, and so I now have experienced both sides of the temperaments and can tell you that my King (Lover) side needs to be nurtured with structure.
I can tell you that the Omega Male just clicked with me, and that well, as it makes sense, I felt better about my mission more than I felt better about finding a girl to get laid with at the bachelor party. So, using observing ego now I can tell you another lesson, the whole bachelor party (and its own boundaries that it had) to me, at least it seems that this is not worth my time going to discuss this fully in detail, as an attempt to initiate themselves into marriage. When there is bad parenting going on, we find lots of bachelorette parties doing this.
Off to recuperate gentlemen.