Personal Boundaries: Why they are important and how to form them

Theodore Anderson's picture
Printer-friendly versionPrinter-friendly version
Personal Boundaries: Why they are important and how to form them

Personal boundaries are perhaps one of the greatest tools that a man can have in his tool box. For me, a personal boundary is a set of guidelines and rules that you live by as a man, and ultimately give you respect and dignity. In other words, a personal boundary allows a man to truly determine what he wants and what he doesn't, communicate this to a woman, consciously or subconsciously, and from there, not waste futile attempts of energy and investment on people, and women especially, that are just not worth it.

How do I know? Well, just over the past week I posted a question on the forums in regard to a situation I was having, and not until I employed observing ego did I happen to see that in my own life, I lacked a lot of personal boundaries. No, this is not something that can be changed overnight. However, as in all aspects of life, a huge step in the right direction toward any goal or success is to become aware of the problem, and then take steps to truly creating lasting and eventually permanent change.

How do you create personal boundaries? Well, in order to figure out what you won't tolerate from others, first figure out your personal values, and from there create your boundaries. For example, if you are a businessman who works Mon-Fri, often times after hours, and is someone that deeply values his time, then perhaps one of your personal boundaries will be punctuality, and if a woman stands you up, you already have your boundary in place. 

A lack of personal boundaries I believe can be derived from a void in one's identity, and truly not knowing where you want to go in life. So, before determining your personal boundaries, as mentioned above, it is necessary to determine who you are as a man, what you want, what you need, and how you can get your needs met. All in all, the process is a tough one, one that I am experiencing myself, but I believe in the end it will be worth it.

Some questions to ask yourself, or strategies to get started: Ask yourself your intention or creating boundaries? Ask yourself why you have settled up until this point? Finally, keep a journal of some sort, or a blog, and espouse everything you feel, and what it means to you. In doing these exercises, I believe you will gain a clearer sense of the void in your life, and why you haven't had boundaries. Ultimately, the goal is for you to become happier, both as a man, and as an omega male.