Why do I keep thinking about her? The conundrum of the ex girlfriend.

Theodore Anderson's picture
Printer-friendly versionPrinter-friendly version
Why do I keep thinking about her? The conundrum of the ex girlfriend.

Ever had that one girl you just can't stop thinking about? Perhaps the one that got away, or the one girl that just keeps popping up in your mind? In this article, I will discuss the idea of the pedestal theory, and the array of possible solutions to such an idea. 

Alright, so, you meet a girl. You get her number, everything is going well, and then, a few days in, perhaps sooner, you start future projecting, and ultimately putting her up on a pedestal. Well, there must be an explanation for this. I mean, how does this happen, and why? It's simple really. When a man comes from a state of lacking abundance, lacking resources (basic principality underlying economics), he gives off signs of neediness, and ultimately, displays characteristics of being unattractive and incompetent to achieve success with women.

Thus, in order to cultivate a lifestyle in which you do not put women on pedestal, engage in activities where you have abundance. Do not become disgruntled or frustrated if at first you do not succeed, for everything valuable requires practice. Some strategies I suggest to implement this idea of abundance are: talk to many different girls. By talking to an array of women, you do not obsess over any particular one, and also you can test the waters to measure levels of compatibility with future potential partners. Another way to cultivate this ideal of abundance is to improve your own life. Whether this be in terms of physical health, mental health, or intelligent health, start making a truly s.m.a.r.t. -lhttp://topachievement.com/smart.html(acronym used for goal setting) plan that allows you to measure and quantify your journey to achieving your goals and truly getting the results you want with women, with your health, with your career, and with your self. If you do not make the changes, no one else is going to for you. At the end of the day, it is up to you and only you. So wake up, and truly begin to embrace your life. If you want something go out and there and get it. 

Every moment is a chance to turn it all around. You are never stuck. Success is not a function of our circumstances, but rather, our reactivity to those circumstances. There is a common saying which says that "it is not the hand that you are dealt, but how you are playing your cards". Similarly, develop a personality and philosophy that allows you to not become disheartened by your circumstances as much as the average joe, but truly begin to step back from the situation (observing ego), and find the opportunity and optimism in the situation. In doing this, not only will you grow, but you will develop maturity in handling seemingly, and stereotypically pessimistic situations. 

Ultimately though, this article endeavors to help you achieve success with your ex girlfriend. Whether you want to forget your ex girlfriend, or win her back, you need to implement a philosophy of observing ego, which will force you to hold yourself accountable for the outcomes of your life, and truly decide what is important to you. By no means is this easy, but it is a necessary process to discovering what is best for you.