Being a Man

Paul Dobransky MD's picture

Secrets of a Female Arch Enemy

Submitted by Paul Dobransky MD

Every man comes face to face with the perfect storm of a woman behaving discourteously, the pressure of her peer group (on her side), the perils of gossip, reputation, and masculine identity in the workplace being fragile. What to do flawlessly to navigate the stormy waters...

I had a female Arch-Enemy until two nights ago, when a stunning and unexpected thing happened.

She APOLOGIZED.
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Paul Dobransky MD's picture

Depresculinity: A New Kind of Depression in Men

Submitted by Paul Dobransky MD

You always knew there ought to be a name for it - the state of mind suffered only by men, related to women and or work... and not be fully living. I have a word to coin. One that's likely been in your life at some point, if only for a day, or a week, or a month. It blocked your ability to meet women, but not to be out and about socially. It thwarted your sense of pride in your work, but not enough to prevent you from getting out of bed every morning to take the bus to that office cubicle.
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Paul Dobransky MD's picture

You Can't Afford "Surprises"

Submitted by Paul Dobransky MD

Don't be one of those guys who is "caught with his pants down" when there are layoffs or the girlfriend with the wandering eye wanders into the arms of another man.
In the past couple of weeks I’ve had one friend get “surprised” by a layoff from work, a second one “surprised” by a sudden demand by his girlfriend that they move in together “or else,” and a third get “surprised” by his seven year wife announcing she wants a divorce.
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Paul Dobransky MD's picture

Superhero Advice On Women and Work?

Submitted by Paul Dobransky MD

So much in life is confusing, illogical, and senseless."Why did I do that?" Superheroes know why...
 
So a guy walks into the office one Friday morning and there are security guards there. They just look blankly at him and he knows what it means – he’s been “sacked,” “downsized,” “terminated,” or essentially thrown out on his butt.
He doesn’t know why it happened, and what’s worse, he really doesn’t know what to do with the rest of his month let alone the rest of his day.
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Paul Dobransky MD's picture

The "Five Shoes" of Forgiving a Woman (and Being Forgiven)

Submitted by Paul Dobransky MD

We usually hear about the importance of resolving arguments with empathy and perspective for the other person described as "there are two sides to every coin," or "what would it be like if the shoe was on the other foot?"

What about thinking about the shoe itself in that metaphor?

Today we have a pretty flawless, thorough way to look at the process of forgiving a woman who's (maybe) done you wrong, and a way to really amplify your own gains in personal growth in the process.
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Paul Dobransky MD's picture

What the "Midnight Hour" Gives You as a Man

Submitted by Paul Dobransky MD

When I went to see Woody Allen's film, Midnight in Paris, I was told it's a "romantic comedy" about a bad relationship, and expected all kinds of lessons about attraction, dating and marriage. I didn't at all expect that it was going to be an equally thought provoking guide to career choices coming from our inexplicable experiences with the unexpected. That it would treat the two prime concerns of men in the form of women and work in equal balance, or how it is that the hour of midnight has a role in a man's life, were the biggest surprises of all.
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Paul Dobransky MD's picture

Death as a Masculine Power

Submitted by Paul Dobransky MD

What does the death of a male mentor mean for your own identity as a man?
The funeral I am driving to, is that of Dr. G. Alec Stewart, a prominent physicist, and Dean of the Honors College where I went to school. In fact, it was his idea to even have an Honors College.
To me, he was THE mentor, benefactor, and advocate.
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