relationships

Q: After relocating a year ago, I have been dating a woman for the last 8 months. We got along well initially, but from the beginning I told her that I was not able to commit to a long-term relationship. I felt I hadn't had enough freedom to grow and haven't dated enough in my life. So this past weekend I called it quits. And now, I feel terrible. I'm conflicted because in so many ways she's a match for me, and at the same time, I'm new to the city and want to explore.

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It's something so subtle that most men don't know it's there, but it's top of mind and of highest concern to women: the "intimacy" part of physical intimacy. Men would generally rather ponder the aspects of the "physical" part of course, but some attention to what's going on between the ears would pay off enormously in your ways of getting closer to women through a physical connection.

I was struck by a sudden realization recently about the concept of "which hat am I wearing" that we've covered many times in the teleseminars of http://www.menspsychology.com/university.

It was this: As men, we all wear "career hats" all day long, often every day. It can be a pervasive habit to always keep that career hat on. But...

We've all been there before - fallen hard for the object of our desire. It was most likely in secondary school for most, the first time it happened, but can occur at any time in one's lifetime. "Falling hard" in love is called "limerance" by psychologists, which means "dreamy" at its root, but is an evolutionarily protective, needed, and at once, hazardous condition of being human. And of having the capacity for love.

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