How Do I Stop a Stalker and Get the One I Want?

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Hi Dr Paul, Woman 1 is stunningly attractive. Woman 2 is not nearly as attractive. I know having Woman 2 see me at the event with Woman 1 will probably crush her. She does need to let go and move on, it's been 6 months since we split and we only dated for 5 months. However I want to go and enjoy myself with my date at the event. Not going to the event because of Woman 2 is lunacy to me. Doing this is simply a matter of handling Woman 2 effectively and to prevent her from throwing salt on my game with Woman 1. Since it's a first date, I'm more vulnerable to that.

My plan is to acknowledge Woman 2 as soon as I see her, introduce her as a friend of mine to Woman 1, keep it short and then move on. Or call Woman 2 and tell her she can do whatever she wants to do, though I would appreciate it if she wouldn't go. However knowing how she is, this only gives her time to plot and scheme.

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Solid Answer:

Good God it gives me a headache.

If it gives you as much a headache - as it surely must - I would suggest looking for woman #3!

Or simply go about not only SETTING boundaries, but believing that you have the right to date whom you want, when you want, in whatever setting you want, and for however long you want.

The problem is not necessarily woman #1,2, or 3, but the fact that you are a mixture of diplomacy, sensitivity to the feelings of others (which is a good thing), and fearing that in life, we MUST hurt the feelings of at least SOME other people, including women.

At first, people don't like to be said NO to. But eventually, they come to respect you (or get out of the way of what it is that you need to do with your social life and career life.

So I see this as needing a combination of the principles of Mature Masculine Power for its description of the male Ares Instinct (the killer instinct), and the details of boundaries described in the MindOS Mastery Program:

http://www.menspsychology.com/courses/miman

http://www.menspsychology.com/courses/migrowth

In the MMP I describe that in our modern society, men of course can't employ the built in "killer instinct" to literally kill - for obvious reasons. However, this ancient instinct is still within us. Today, it is employed in the ability to hurt someone else's feelings for a good cause (your health, welfare, and progress on your mission in life as a man) - the ability to tell someone else NO to their desires in order to not betray your OWN.

In the film Wanted that I review in MMP, I call it, "Sorry #2." Yes, it sometimes needs to be used on women - even ones you may like or admire.

Then the headache goes away and they both respect you. Frankly, if you moved on to Woman #3, it would probably repeat because you'd be challenged in saying NO to her too. At some point you will have to say it to EVERY woman you date.

This is not to say you are on the wrong track. You know what you are doing and are attracting great women. It's just that they are picking up on your difficulty in saying a clear NO to things you don't like or want. That doesn't mean you break up or don't date a woman. It just means that you clearly set limits and preferences, and behavior you are not going to tolerate in a friend, lover, or more...

All of human courtship is in the Omega Male Program at:

http://www.menspsychology.com/courses/miwomen

Complete answers in the Omega Male Program, and our other programs.

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