Leave a Job on a High Note

Submitted by Paul Dobransky MD on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 00:23

Hi Dr Paul, So I am thinking it's always a good idea to quit a job on a high note, and never burn your bridges. It's good advice in all aspects of life but you never know who you will come across in business.

I was recently covering a different office at work and had to cover an appointment for my colleague there. As soon as I was given the details, I recognized the person as being a client of my old company on the other side of the city. She was definitely someone I liked dealing with (incidentally she's a Warrior). She was polite, friendly, always contactable and did things on time!

She is a customer at my new company and at the end of the appointment I told her that I remembered her and jogged her memory. She couldn't believe that I remembered all of our dealings down to the finer details and was shocked that in a city of 8 million that we'd met like that. She'll be coming back to my new company time and again now, as both a customer and client and won't forget us in a hurry.

Answer:

This is an amazing career topic so frequently experienced by men! How valuable in the career department for guys.

Who hasn't daydreamed of firing their own boss? Or defeating him or her, outwitting them in cases where it feels like there isn't career advancement, or when there are layoffs and the economy is poor (most of the time lately) - or in cases where you felt you were in the right and worked hard, while others who evaluate or work with you would disagree?

When many dream of doing like the flight attendant who quit his airline by sliding down the inflatable ladder... or even worse, when one has an aggressive fantasy about leaving work - I think one of the most compelling is depicted in the film, Wanted, starring actor James McAvoy, smashing his keyboard on the head of his mortal enemy coworker - it's the fantasy itself that relieves the pressure, the anger and hurt in many cases, or the anxiety of loss of friends and familiarity in less dramatic departure conditions.

You are entirely right to note that "you never know." When in most circumstances today, you WILL need job references, and some employers ask for every single year you have ever worked to be detailed out in the application. There is a reason both for the fantasy, and for the alternative skill at masterful politics.

The cause of the fantasy is sometimes simple revenge over being treated less than you deserved or expected, and sometimes it's jealousy at those who still hold their jobs, or the boss who still has his or her "cushy" situation.

Yet those of us willing to cultivate this skill that in MindOS Mastery we call Observing Ego - the ability to be conscious, awake and aware - you might discover that there can be unconscious workings in yourself driving you to wish for but hopefully not engage in the impulsive, aggressive, jealous or otherwise immature behavior of quitting via drama.

It's an OEDIPAL situation. Which is to say that the unconscious "young pup ambitions" of a guy who received a lot of benefits, mentoring, guidance and discipline in the workplace, then feels an aggressive urge to "vanquish" or "get out of the way" the very mentors or bosses or administrators who monitored your progress in the company...

...well it can be as bewildering to them why and how you leave dramatically as it is for you to wonder why you haven't risen up in the ranks. The "Oedipus" includes the urge to "kill the father" (so that you can now be King.)

You see this often in the workplace, especially as character instruction and personal growth that comes with it, dies off as a societal value, a parental, long-taught skill, and a culture of ambition at any cost urges the young man in you onward and upward.

It's easy to see why this would happen. A workplace can feel like a family situation and a boss can seem like a caring and sometimes disciplining father. But they are NOT. And that's where it's wrongful for us to indulge in this drive and urge of the masculine instincts.

The ability to set yourself on the right and mature course around it all calls for a guy to rely on his

a. ) Observing Ego ability to catch himself in the act of having urges to do the WRONG thing for him and others,

b.) boundaries to contain himself and have self-discipline and

c.) the wisdom, and instinctual Zeus-like leadership in the long term

...to do what is both masculine and politically masterful!

Observing Ego is highlighted in MindOS Mastery at:

http://www.menspsychology.com/courses/migrowth

And all of the masculine instincts used in the workplace are in the Mature Masculine Power Program at:

http://www.menspsychology.com/courses/miman

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Leave a Job on a High Note

Answer:

To become a Premium Member of Men's Psychology On Demand, and gain access to:

Two full hours of weekly teleseminars with the most compelling questions men need to answer

24/7 Live Forums with Online Coaching

Expert Interviews with Men's Thinkers and Newsmakers for Our Times

The 1000+ article Men's Psychology Wiki Library

...and over 2500 members and over 50000 questions answered...

CLICK HERE