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Why Do I Attract Women I DON'T Want and Fail With Women I DO Want?
Printer-friendly versionHi Dr Paul,why do I lately attract women I DON'T want, and irritate women (or get rejected by women) I DO want??
It's got to be one thing I am doing different with the women I like than the one's I don't. For instance with the women that I am not interested in at all, I am still very friendly being a generally caring person [I believe I score high on warrior and lover scales]. I joke around with them as if they are sisters to me. They are still attracted though as I am (and I am pretty sure you do too, as you do seem like someone with most of his act together) not giving away "key to my private space" to any woman, it's just instinctive to me and plus it feels good. So what do I come across as? Friendly and Mysterious. But then with the women I am actually interested in, well, it fizzles.
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Answer:
I LOVE this question. In fact, I am extra enticed because you must own the Omega Male Program because you pretty much answered your own question already.
It is so, so common for a guy to fall into a "half-rut" where he only seems to attract women he DOESN'T like, but can't get the ones he DOES like.
You figured it out by taking two core ideas from the first two phases of sexual attraction we lay out in the Omega Male Program, in the form of the prime sexual attractor of women (in other words for the ones we like) : being MYSTERIOUS.
And secondly the solid center of lasting LOVE, a different thing from sexual attraction, and called FRIENDSHIP or BONDING - emotional attraction in other words.
So simply put, when you are "attracting" women you DON'T WANT, it's that you are perhaps shy, shamed, low in masculinity yet kind, loving and FRIENDLY in your approach, which does two things:
- It TRIGGERS the women you DON'T want by giving them LOVE vibes in the form of your friendliness - a NECESSARY condition for women to ALSO feel SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
- HOWEVER, when you are with the more attractive women you DO WANT, you likely are ALSO shy, reserved, and UNMYSTERIOUS, and therefore friendly yet unattractive - which spurs them to be open to neutral, nonromantic association, but NOT sexual attraction.
- Further, you might make the ERROR of trying to make up for a lack of mysteriousness by NOT BEING FRIENDLY (acting like a tough guy etc) which more than anything is NOT mysterious, and belies the fact that you are insecure, hiding behind the tough guy persona, rather than being BOTH FRIENDLY AND MYSTERIOUS. When you do the former, then you turn off the hot ones to BOTH romance AND friendship on top of it.
With the ones you DO want and the ones you DON'T want, here is the FIX:
- When attracting ones you DO want, keep your same friendliness in the background, NOT OFF, and be bold and genuine instead, mysterious AND friendly.
- When seeking to be "nice" but NOT romantic with ones you DON'T want, still be friendly, but additionally ADD a PERSONAL BOUNDARY, making it clear that you are not available romantically, but sure enjoy friends.
Then you're on your way.
It's masculine instinct highlighted in the Mature Masculine Power Program at:
Boundaries are highlighted in MindOS Mastery at:
http://www.menspsychology.com/courses/migrowth
And all of human courtship is in the Omega Male Program at:
http://www.menspsychology.com/courses/miwomen
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